Zinger (and Winner) of the Day

From Gizmodo.com’s HD-DVD Haiku Giveaway contest:

Wife said no high def
Bought big screen, she up and left
Her loss. HD rules

-- Marc M.

Good-bye, Crocodile Guy

I just have to throw in my two cents on the death of Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter. All I’m going to say is that it’s unfortunate that the world had to lose somebody with so much passion and charisma. We could use more like him

My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine...?

Pluto’s not a planet?!?! So all that gibberish about nine planets is out?!?! This is just the tip of the iceberg, you know… Next, they’re going to tell you that Rhode Island isn’t really a state, Europe’s not a continent (no kidding, it’s physically a part of Asia), and that there are only 30 flavors of ice cream at Baskin Robbins. I tell you, this is a slippery slope…

Mystery of the Week

We were walking through John Wayne airport after arriving from Iowa the other day, and we noticed a sign over a trash bin for aerosol cans, deodorant, hairspray and… Tag. You mean to tell me that Tag is in an entirely separate category? You know what it is – it’s that body spray for men with the commercials depicting young men being accosted by attractive women after using it. Is it really so different that it deserves its own listing on a banned substances list? Please explain in 100 words or less.

Art Imitating Life

Zinger of the Day

I just heard this last night, even though it was on TV about a week ago:

“Fresh off his Oscar nomination for Brokeback Mountain, my good friend, Jake Gyllenhaal, is here… Jake, why you sittin’ in the front...? I thought you liked it in the rear?”

-- Lance Armstrong, hosting the ESPY’s

In Sink?

Why is it that the only time I feel that my life is in sync with the universe is when I’m washing dishes?

Excuse me?

Why do the grandmothers actually insist on saying that any distress experienced by my little girl is because she misses her grandmother? To be totally honest, I can’t believe I heard those words from my own mother’s lips the other day. It’s such a cliché that I thought only Kindra’s mother would actually utter the words, but, alas, I have heard them from my side of the family as well. Sheesh.

I must be getting old.

I can't remember the quadratic formula! Argh.

I do, however remember the Pythagorean Theorem… a^2 + b^2 = c^2, for right triangles. Whew.

Don't ask any more.

Wadesque?

What is it about people that they’re looking so hard to be a part of something great that they assign greatness to any event that is even slightly out of the ordinary? For instance, Dwayne Wade’s performance last night in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Pistons is taken to be “Jordanesque” because he was feeling flu-like effects for the past day. Are you nuts? He had a great performance with 14 points and 10 assists in finishing out the Pistons, but it was nothing like Jordan’s 38 points in Game 5 (6?) against the Jazz in the 1998 Finals. Sheesh.

Wade felt sick and needed IV fluids. They give IV fluids to almost anybody who feels anything these days. Wade did not have to be carried off the court by Shaq like Jordan leaned on Pippen at the end of the 1998 game. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to take anything away from Dwayne Wade, but his performance certainly wasn't transcendent. It like everybody wants to be a witness to something special so badly that they’ll take anything above average to be special.

Oh, and the ESPN.com line is: “Miami mended two decades of playoff heartbreak Friday night, reaching its first NBA Finals with a 95-78 rout of Detroit.” Okay, they were an expansion team in 1988 or 1989… They sucked for about five years, then progressively got better with Glen Rice, Rony Seikaly, and Sherman Douglass (how about those names for you?!). Then they had Mourning and Co. Now Shaq and Wade. Great. We call it a progression. It’s not like they’ve had the best players in the NBA and kept losing in the playoffs for the last twenty years…

Joke of the Day (paraphrased):

Sex after a few years gets boring. Sometimes I’ll do it doggie-style just so I can multi-task. The laundry doesn’t fold itself, you know. If you want to excite me, make it do something I haven’t seen before. Like the dishes.

-- Lynne Koplitz

Hello.

So I've been having so much fun writing a blog about my little girl and parenthood that I figured I needed another blog to talk about random thoughts that cross my head. I don't know why... Maybe it's carthartic. So here we go...

But before we begin, I have to take out the trash and put the diapers away for my lovely wife. =P