Friday, October 13, 2006

Creating Insomniacs

Capitalism + Possibility = Staying up late for crap that I may or may not need.

What is it about having to be the first? What is it about having to get the best deal - on anything, whether I need it or not? What is it about sitting in front of my laptop, constantly refreshing a web page to see if the newest deal item has popped up? Even if it's a Snap Sights 35mm Waterproof Camera ($7.99 + $5 S/H)?

That's what I get for living in a world that allows a commercial website to, for one 24-hour period, post deals on questionable products one after the other after the previous product has sold out. Questionable in two respects: 1) quality of product, and 2) actual need for said products in my life (or anyone else's, for that matter). Now, obviously, not every product is questionable, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this. The kicker is that you have to wait and wade through a dozen or so questionable offers to find an item that may actually be a bargain. As to whether or not one actually needs that item... Well, that's another question.

The sad thing is, I absolutely HAVE to see what's next. It's ridiculously addictive. Like heroin addictive. There's no quitting cold turkey, and there's no coming down. Because what if I came down at the wrong time? What if, during that period of time when I wasn't rolling or tripping or whatever the hell the kids call it these days, what if I missed that not-quite-what-I-wanted-but-will-settle-for-this-anyway deal of a lifetime (or, at least, the next week)? What if I missed that GREAT DEAL! on a SanDisk 256MB MP3/WMA Player with FM Tuner and Voice Recorder!?!?

And again, the worst part of it is... I don't even need it. Any of it, really. I have so much crap in my home, but I just a little addict who needs to keep spending money I don't have because... IT'S A GREAT DEAL. Come to think of it, it's akin to being hammered at the club. You know sure as hell you don't need another drink, but oooo... the lights... the music... the hormones... "Yeah, okay... Ah'll have anudder... Bring me a drink, damnit! Whoo-hoo!!! Oooooohhhh... I'm gonna be sick. *Gulp* Where's that drink?"

In fact, to be honest, it's 12:42 AM, and I'm writing this blog while waiting for the Kensington Wireless Convertible Pocket Mini Mouse (It's a desktop mouse! Pop it out of the shell and it's a laptop mouse! It's wireless! For only $7.99 + $5 S/H!) to sell out so I can pick up... whatever's next. I just need to find a deal. A good deal. On something. Something that I need. Sort of. Maybe. Shhhhh... Don't tell my wife.

Argh... goodnight. Maybe. Just one more... Yeah, that's it... Just one more.

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Crap. I just found out that this thing could go on from 24-72 hours. HOURS.

2 comments:

a mindless zombie said...

Hmmm I think you need help.

There could be two things that you mentioned that is new to me:

(1) You know what it is like to be a heroin addict.
AND
(2) You have been hammered at clubs

This is all new to me and I think I am getting dizzy....

Steve said...

Bleh...